The Lopsided Affair

Affair, huh?….hmm… aha….! This must be steamy? Unfortunately NO! This isn’t about a romantic episode. Disappointed? Don’t worry I got news for you. This isn’t about the fiery passionate love But YES! It definitely is all about love. The love definition may not be as per the modern standards but it is the basics. It matches up to the Universal language of love. So please proceed to read this blog only if you believe in it and can help add your share of love.

This so called “Affair” started last afternoon near a Sandwich cart. Something banged into my car. I got off to see if anyone was hurt (was worried about the impact of the bang on my new car as well). A lump of mess stood there with her hands crossed so as to cover her face completely. She sobbed without waiting to catch a breath. I didn’t realise what had happened, until another Sandwich customer yelled at the teenage helper boy there. “Kyun mara be? (Why did you hit her?)”

“Pagal hain, customero ko tung karti hain (She is crazy, she troubles the customers).”

The customer threatened the boy that he would cancel his order for the way he had treated the girl. I took this a step further. I went and cancelled my order of ten sandwiches (already ready to be parcelled). I felt that the owner was equally at fault for not stopping his helper from the act of violence. He lost a business of Rupees Seven Hundred. The other customers sitting around also cancelled their orders, another loss of about Rupees Three Hundred (guessing the amount). Money isn’t important here, but it is a language people better comprehend too. A lecture given will not impact them as much as a monetary loss.

“Insaniyat kaha hain? (Where’s humanity?)” I asked the boy.

“Areee Madam, yeh pagal hain ( Madam, she is crazy)”

“Mujko tum pagal lagte ho, toh maru kya? (I feel that you are crazy, now shall I hit you?)”

Nothing much was said after that. Do you think that the boy was at fault? ..hmm.. No, he wasn’t, he was doing his job. The victim girl here, was actually bothering his customers to buy colouring books from her. His intention was right. All he wanted was his customers to be able to eat in peace. But his approach was wrong.

The boy did realise his mistake and offered a plate filled with sandwich and wafers. He also made an effort to nudge her to eat from it, before he returned back to his job. Her angelic face, which I could now see, was covered in grim and dirt (maybe she hadn’t washed it since months). Was she bathed and in a good pair of clothes, anyone would have thought she was one of the better privileged human beings trotting on Earth. This is the lopsidedness of our society. It would probably take another round of human evolution to stop this nonsense. And I would like to leave that for another day. Coming back to the little girl, she wasn’t giving up. She was all about self respect. She left the plate on the seat of one of the many parked scooters there. I couldn’t help but observe the girl. Every few seconds she would glance towards her plate and then turn her face around.

This little play of her’s with her plate of goodies could bring a smile to even the hard hearted ones. I called her and asked her in Gujarati, “Kem nathi khati? tane kharab lagyu ?(Why aren’t you eating? Did you feel bad?)” She was silent. She slowly raised herself on the tips of her toes, over the car’s side, to make sure that her plate was still there. She slowly nodded in affirmation. After she was convinced that the boy had realised his mistake and it was a cool thing to forgive, did she go back to her plate and began eating her crumb.

I felt powerful with the flow of positive energy that was now within me. I am no Mother Teresa, nor was the gentleman (who stood against violence) Saint Paul. But yet, something in the Universe had changed for that moment. The boy had learnt from his mistake, the girl’s belly was fed (temporarily), and I got my sandwiches. At least for a few minutes, all was well with the world.

I hope this “lopsided affair” at the Sandwich stall can inspire many. We wait for kindness and courage to come from others, the truth is that we, ourselves are well capable to be kind. If the motive of the human heart is true love, the courage to find and cherish it, will be there. The Universe is here to help us. Believe in the Divine.

Much Love to the believers of kindness and courage,

Nidhi

 

If You Have A Girl- By Nidhi Paneri

girl

 

 

If you have a girl,

Then talk to her,

Not once,

Not twice,

But everyday of your lives.

Tell her all those things you have wanted to,

For if not you,

Then who?

Tell her that she will be judged,

More often misjudged,

At every step that she will take,

Don’t take it personal,

If you do so, a mistake you will make.

Talk to her about how to write a journal,

Learn to pour your heart out there,

Cry as long as you must,

For true friends are also very rare.

This isn’t about you,

You are sweet and awesome,

Into a young lady,

You shall soon blossom.

Tell her she might be made fun of,

Be spoken behind her back,

She will be labeled and given an awful name,

This isn’t about you,

It’s a part of the unscrupulous game.

Tell her to keep her head held high,

Even if her heart has sunken deep below,

No one will hear her,

To manage her thoughts and feelings,

She must know.

There will be despair,

Be positive and rebel,

While others play truth,

You play the dare. 

Tell her to dream is great,

But if they shatter she must wait,

All good things shall all come back with leaps and bounds,

Have patience, have faith,

This isn’t about you,

A great woman has always had this trait.

Tell her to love with all her heart,

But before others,

It is from herself that she must start,

If what she does,

Doesn’t bring her joy,

It is time to look beyond,

Yeah, It’s quite a job,

Oh boy!

Tell her it takes a real man to handle a real woman,

Real women are different,

Real women are difficult,

A real man can handle you with ease,

No need to beg or plead,

No need to stoop low below,

If he finds you imperfect,

It is an illusion of his inflated ego,

Sometimes it is best to just let it all go.

Don’t try to change anyone,

For everyone fights their own battles,

Learn to care for everyone,

Despite your own straddles.

You are and shall always be awesome,

Into a young lady,

You shall soon blossom.

Tell her to keep her hopes up until the end,

Sometimes an end is just a new beginning,

Life will throw you a song,

You must keep singing.

Every sunset will have a new sunrise,

Be patient,

Be wise.

Hopes are your securities,

Fears are your obstacles,

Just jump over them,

Don’t stop to look behind,

All you will see are crossed over hurdles.

No one can tell her this,

It’s got to be you,

You are the only one,

Who she sees is true.

Before you know,

She’ll be gone,

So, don’t wait for the right time.

Tell her now,

For if  not now,

Then when?

So if you have a girl,

Then talk to her,

Not once,

Not twice,

But everyday of your lives.

Tell her all that you have wanted to,

For if not you,

Then who?

 

 

That Thing About My Marriage

There won’t be a better day than today to pen down memoirs from my marriage, as my husband and myself turn nine years old as a legal couple. For the starters by sharing this post I in no way claim that ours is the happiest or the perfect most, but I do claim that I am darn proud of it. We have had our share of struggles, and still have a long way to go, but I can’t help feel the euphoria of this journey so far!

My Dad left no stone unturned to give his daughter( yep, that’s me) a fairytale like wedding. He had loved the word “Saptapadi”, meaning seven steps which is the essence of an everlasting love and respect in a marriage. So, he had the word printed in the wedding invites. Only for me to discover its depth in the moments to come.

The wedding was over, but my marriage had just begun. During my Bidai, my mom was crying buckets. Everyone on my side of the family was sad and cried, but mom was inconsolable. I just stood there, numb, feeling horrible that I had to leave my mom in this state. So I kept standing next to her, juggling to find words that would make her feel a bit better.

All this while my husband and I were tied to each other with the wedding knot. He stood for a while and soon realised that if he didn’t act fast then mom might collapse. So, he quickly got into the car. Now, no matter how hard I tried to go near my mom, I was pulled back towards him. I had no choice, but to get into the car too.

Inside the car, a typically quiet person that my husband is, started talking a lot. I guessed he was just as nervous as I was. He shared that he had read somewhere that some couple separated because they had some issues about the way the husband kept the toilet seat. He blabbered on and on about it. It was hilarious, I laughed through my tears. He said that he didn’t want such issues, so the first question he asked me as a man and woman was how would I want him to keep the toilet seat?

I was so caught up at his weird, yet funny side that I completely forgot about the horrible feeling I had a minute ago. He later called my dad out of concern and inquired about my mom.

There it was! The first step of Saptapadi, live in action: finding ways to bring a smile on your spouse’s face( even if it means being silly or talking like a crazy maniac).

As individuals we are poles apart. I am a saving type, keep a tab on our pennies while he is the spender; I give out distress calls frequently while he is calmer than still water; he notices every little thing about me while I admire him irrespective of his clothes or hairstyle.

Today divorce rates  have increased phenomenally; there are a lot many marriages that are dragged on and on each day, continued to exist due to fear of social pressures. Failed marriages aren’t because of the people involved in it. They are simply not happy because they revolve around other aspects: bank balances, infidelity, secrets and manipulations. Focus shifts when a couple stops let going. When they can’t forgive. When they refuse to budge from where they stand. They see each other as a pain instead of being painkillers for the other.

There is a constant seek for something or someone that isn’t yours. Is it so difficult to love what is yours? Why does somebody’s life, life partner, marriage and to a great extent others kids and jewelry look finer than yours?

This is the thing about our marriage. We both love what is ours. There are no terms and conditions. Love is unconditional. It’s cumulative of sweet words, hope, satisfaction and 24×7 support.

Yeah, that’s the thing about my marriage!

Venky & Lola (FLLT exclusive)

venky and lola INTRO

It all began with a high pitch sound. I was just two hours and twelve minutes into Superatindo game and only five minutes short of winning level Five, when I noticed that the sound I was referring to was my mom’s screaming.

“Venkyyy….put that thing away”.

“It’s not a thing amma, it’s a z-pad, an electronic gadget, a WOY-line tablet manufactured by Banana.inc and please just two minutes more….pleaasssee….”

Mom wasn’t interested in my knowledge sharing. She said that she had been screaming for the past five minutes, but I swear I hadn’t heard a word.

I could see a mover and packer truck parked outside from our kitchen window. As the truck moved I saw a girl wailing away sitting on the front steps.

“Look at that poor girl; she must be our new neighbour” Mom said

“She’ll get over it amma”.

Moms never understand about being left alone for a while. She filled my hands with a box of Idlis.

“Go take them and become friends with her”.

“Noooo…” I begged.

Before I realised mom had pushed me out of the house. I slowly tugged myself to the new neighbour’s house.  It was the weirdest first meeting ever.

“Hi, I am Venkatesh Murli Prasad”.

“Bohoooo….Bohooo….I miss Queen”, she sobbed loudly.

“The Queen?  You mean Queen Elizabeth?” I asked.

“No stupid! Queen was my cat in London”, she said wiping her runny nose with her shirt sleeves. She looked up at me and her loud sobs changed to a hideous pig like laughter.

She rolled and loathed, laughing.

“I am Lola, I come from Britain, but my sister and brother, think I am from Bratland”, she said once she gathered herself, and there she let out her funny snorts again.

“What’s so funny?” I asked

She held her tummy and snorted…errr….laughed again until tears welled up in her big froggy eyes.

“What’s the reason that you laugh like a mad girl?” I asked again.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me inside her house. We both stood in front of a large mirror in the bedroom. My cheeks flushed after I saw my reflection.

A bird was busy building her nest in my noodley hair. I have had embarrassing moments, but this was the father, as we say “Baap” of them all!

I froze.  Lola fell on the floor and rolled all over, laughing in snorts again.

This was the worst that could’ve happened to a good human being like me. When I found some movement in my limbs, I raised my hands to help the chirpie fellow. The more I tugged at my hair, the more it tangled.

“I shall try the reverse effect on effects method. It will transfer the kinetic energy of the bird into stationary energy and then ….”

“Shut up Venkipedia!…You are a talking Wikipedia!”

Lola snapped her fingers, went out of the room and returned with a pair of scissors.

 

venky hair saga

 

“What are you going to do with those?” I asked, my body shivered.

Before I could stop her, she chopped off a large chunk of my hair. My heart skipped a beat.

“Those locks were precious to my mom, she thought of them as a sign of a real man”, I couldn’t believe it, but I was whining.

“How could you do that?” I asked.

“Like that”, she replied, chopping off another lock of my curled darlings.

The bird flew away and my hair that once carried it’s nest lay on the floor.

“What was I going to tell amma?” and, “What was I going to tell Appa?”

I no longer wanted to be friends with this brat. This was the end of the shortest friendship. I had made up my mind never to speak to her again. I picked up the Idli parcel, she didn’t deserve a single bite of those, and left her house.

But things normally never happen the way you intend them to be!

 

 

 

The Run

We planned,

And we planned more.

We fell,

We were hurt,

Our heart was sore.

So we decided to run away,

So as to never feel that pain.

We didn’t stop,

In sun or rain.

We drowned ourselves in work,

Or hid behind the cloak.

We let life slip by,

Imagine all the good fun we missed,

Just because we chose to be so dry.

We were so scared of that hurt again,

That we got stuck up in the bargain.

When the Universe gave us something so special,

something so sacred,

We chose to push it all away.

So this time we will do it different.

We shall follow our heart,

Right from the start.

Let the pain be felt.

We shall enjoy it.

Let love be felt.

We shall celebrate it.

We will be like a child,

The world will be our play ground,

To enjoy we have to be wild.

 

Nothing can be controlled,

So keep calm and listen to our soul.

You will know what is the best,

For only the Divine knows,

What is the next.