There won’t be a better day than today to pen down memoirs from my marriage, as my husband and myself turn nine years old as a legal couple. For the starters by sharing this post I in no way claim that ours is the happiest or the perfect most, but I do claim that I am darn proud of it. We have had our share of struggles, and still have a long way to go, but I can’t help feel the euphoria of this journey so far!
My Dad left no stone unturned to give his daughter( yep, that’s me) a fairytale like wedding. He had loved the word “Saptapadi”, meaning seven steps which is the essence of an everlasting love and respect in a marriage. So, he had the word printed in the wedding invites. Only for me to discover its depth in the moments to come.
The wedding was over, but my marriage had just begun. During my Bidai, my mom was crying buckets. Everyone on my side of the family was sad and cried, but mom was inconsolable. I just stood there, numb, feeling horrible that I had to leave my mom in this state. So I kept standing next to her, juggling to find words that would make her feel a bit better.
All this while my husband and I were tied to each other with the wedding knot. He stood for a while and soon realised that if he didn’t act fast then mom might collapse. So, he quickly got into the car. Now, no matter how hard I tried to go near my mom, I was pulled back towards him. I had no choice, but to get into the car too.
Inside the car, a typically quiet person that my husband is, started talking a lot. I guessed he was just as nervous as I was. He shared that he had read somewhere that some couple separated because they had some issues about the way the husband kept the toilet seat. He blabbered on and on about it. It was hilarious, I laughed through my tears. He said that he didn’t want such issues, so the first question he asked me as a man and woman was how would I want him to keep the toilet seat?
I was so caught up at his weird, yet funny side that I completely forgot about the horrible feeling I had a minute ago. He later called my dad out of concern and inquired about my mom.
There it was! The first step of Saptapadi, live in action: finding ways to bring a smile on your spouse’s face( even if it means being silly or talking like a crazy maniac).
As individuals we are poles apart. I am a saving type, keep a tab on our pennies while he is the spender; I give out distress calls frequently while he is calmer than still water; he notices every little thing about me while I admire him irrespective of his clothes or hairstyle.
Today divorce rates have increased phenomenally; there are a lot many marriages that are dragged on and on each day, continued to exist due to fear of social pressures. Failed marriages aren’t because of the people involved in it. They are simply not happy because they revolve around other aspects: bank balances, infidelity, secrets and manipulations. Focus shifts when a couple stops let going. When they can’t forgive. When they refuse to budge from where they stand. They see each other as a pain instead of being painkillers for the other.
There is a constant seek for something or someone that isn’t yours. Is it so difficult to love what is yours? Why does somebody’s life, life partner, marriage and to a great extent others kids and jewelry look finer than yours?
This is the thing about our marriage. We both love what is ours. There are no terms and conditions. Love is unconditional. It’s cumulative of sweet words, hope, satisfaction and 24×7 support.
Yeah, that’s the thing about my marriage!